It clung there, incessantly nagging at me to “please, get rid of me somehow.” It stuck with me for days that turned into weeks, eventually evolving into months. How could I ignore it for this long?
Anyone that knows me knows how highly I value sleep. For those of you who don’t, let me break down the totem pole of importance in my little life for you. First comes breathing, for obvious reasons. Followed closely by coffee, which my favorite t-shirt tells me, “is a warm alternative for sleep.” (That will never lose its cuteness for me.) Next on my list of importance, is sleep. Above other humans, world peace, and having plastic-free oceans. All that shit is SUPER important too, don’t get me wrong, but obviously this is my selfish little totem pole. It’s allowed sometimes. Self care and whatnot.
That being said, my home is just how I like it at night time. I’ve worked so hard to create the perfect environment for a good nights’ sleep, since finding that regularly began to be an issue a few years ago. There’s a few drops of an essential oil cocktail I’ve concocted, seeping from my bedside humidifier and into the air. The AC is running to cool my little apartment to the best sleeping temperature, which is obviously 74 degrees. There’s no outside noise, and no inside noise either, because I don’t have kids yet. Yes, on purpose. Mouse is curled up in her cat hammock across the room, that her step dad lovingly built for her. (He didn’t have to love her, but he just went right ahead and did, folks, and that’s just… so cool.) Speaking of that guy, he’s already been asleep, since he was somewhat horizontal for more than 30 seconds. I showered, did my 20 minute skincare regimen, have brushed my teeth and taken all my supplements and vitamins. I lay down in my bed, who’s sheets and pillows have been adjusted exactly how I like them. (Picture a human sized cocoon- it’s strategic, seriously, the level ridiculousness is laughable and I mean every bit of it.) Lights are out, eyelids are closed, some deep breaths….
*Tap tap tap*
Fuuuuuuh, what now? Is the front door locked? Yes. Is my alarm set for the morning? Yes. Everything’s good, now please brain, go to sleep, I’m so tired.
*Tap. TAP. TAP.*
*Hey, remember that thing you keep saying you want to do
but still haven’t done it yet
motivation or lack thereof or something?*
*K, just reminding you like somewhat passively,
enjoy trying to get some rest now,
Or like have fun tossing and turning and letting your brain run k bye*
So, here I am. I’m doing the thing, and I owe it to myself, my sleeps, and my sanity. I heard recently that people are interesting to other people. Like, even if you don’t find yourself interesting enough to blog about, other people are somehow interested. Humans are weird and their brains are really fascinating. So without further ado, here’s my take on some things. Maybe they’re silly things that have no relevance to most other humans. Maybe some important things that will change other people’s lives.
Either way, I deserve to sleep better at night.